I have often heard this phrase, and it’s something I have tried to grasp, tried to earn, tried to reach out to comprehend and obtain for myself. But then I learned something irreplaceable.
They are both gifts, given, very personally and specifically to you alone, but you have to choose to accept or refuse these gifts. They don’t seem like gifts when you have survived the most difficult trials of your life thus far. But I learned something after I realized and accepted these two seemingly odd gifts. (They came wrapped separately!) 🙂
Accepting them means, for me, that the God of this vast Universe has decided to entrust me with more responsibility. This is what I have personally learned as truth for me. Each of us has an achilles heel, myself included. I am now grateful for mine, because it gives me something better than experienced, earned knowledge. My achilles heel has brought wisdom, obedience and a daily remembrance that I am not in control of anything, not even the very next breath of my life. To follow the extremely narrow path that leads to life everlasting is a blessing, but a weighty sense of responsibility as well. And since we are each given our own lives, set apart that each of us will live just once, we are often going it alone, for no one else has been created to be us. You are the only YOU there is, and your job while on earth will not be done if you don’t do it. In fact, the only unique thing you have to offer the world is you.
Some days I do host a grand party, “Pity? Party for one?” and then I remember, my job means that the God of the universe trusts me, and I can again put new paradigms into a larger, grander, multigenerational perspective, and I can walk through it. He told us the road would be narrow. I just never knew how narrow. I am the only Me there is and that is all I have to offer anyone, whether he/she likes the ME or not is not, cannot be of concern to me at all.
No paradigm can be kept intact in coming through an experience of this magnitude, seeing your beloved and beautiful mother TORTURED, yes TORTURED daily, literally being poisoned to death by greed and the love of money, at the hands of others who know full well their deeds; others I believe choose to revel in blissful ignorance and have turned so rotten that they believe rot is good; and goodness is rotten. It’s just business right?
It’s my mom. It’s my family.
It’s Joan Budke and her family.
It’s a generation of women being sent to slaughter. We treat cattle more humanely when we send them to slaughter.
I am grateful for another gift: adversaries, naysayers and those who revel in chaos, for they too have taught me much: 1) What NOT to do, and how NOT to behave; 2) How to grow a THICK skin; and 3) Just because some, one or even many say hateful, deceitful and just plain wrong things about me does not mean that those statements are true or EVER WILL BE TRUE.
God bless you. Keep fighting your own honorable fight and giving your YOU to the world. We need you.
God bless you all, and happy new year! May it be healthier, wealthier and filled will peace and love.